Dennis has one accident after another today - and his stars don't help, at least according to Clive.
With Wayne Jackman and Ian Tregonning. Director JEREMY SWAN
Producer CHRISTINE HEWITT
The Playground Stop
Where Dave and the children play follow my leader, Liz finds out what will stick to a magnet, and Lizzie meets a sad caterpillar.
Presented by David Benson
Phillips and Elizabeth Watts. Puppeteer: Jane Eve
Producer BARBARA RODDAM (R)
Laurel and Hardy
Suspect in Custody (R)
New Adventures of Mighty Mouse The Bagmouse
8.15am Eggs 'n' Baker Aswad and Jonathon Morris from Bread are
Cheryl Baker 's guests today in a show all about carbohydrates.
In Geneva, Cheryl meets children from Equador, Afghanistan and Sierra Leone at UNICEF headquarters.
Director JOHN F.D. NORTHOVER Producer MADELINE WILTSHIRE BBC North West
Terror of Hammerhand (R)
with Sarah Greene and Phillip Schofield.
Featuring Trevor and Simon and Peter Simon. This week's guests are Anneka Rice and Tony Robinson : there's a visit from Liz Kershaw and Bruno Brookes , plus music from the London Boys. Editor CHRIS BELLINGER
12.12pm Weather Suzanne Charlton
introduced by Bob Wilson.
4.40 Final Score
Rugby Union from Dublin.
Ireland v New Zealand Live coverage from
Lansdowne Road with the kick-off at 2.45pm. Commentator: Bill McLaren.
FA Cup first round - preliminaries plus some World Cup action.
TSB National Winter
Swimming Championships from Leeds.
The next major date for the fastest few will be Auckland in January.
Commentators: Alan Weeks , Hamilton Bland and Andy Jameson.
Racing from Ascot.
1.00 Manicou Handicap Chase (2m)
1.30 H and T Walker Gold Cup Chase (H'cap. 2 ½m)
The most valuable race of the season so far, worth over E25,000 to the winner.
2.05 Kennel Gate Novices Hurdle Race (2m)
Peter O'Sullevan , Julian Wilson and Richard Pitman.
Mobil 1 Rally Challenge The final round.
Reporter: Steve Rider. Television presentation:
Rugby Union JOHNNIE WATHERSTON Swimming ALASTAIR SCOTT Racing WENDY SHEPPARD Rallying BHP
Producer MARTIN HOPKINS Editor JOHN PHILIPS
with Moira Stuart. Weather
Today: Uninvited Pest Hot Noon
Love That Pup
Director NICK JONES
Producer DAVID PLATT (R)
Backstage at the Folies
Bergere. where there are more legs than the UEFA
Cup. an attempt is made to strike a blow for feminism and put men into the chorus line. Could someone help
Noel? He's got his headdress caught in his stilettos. Special guest star: Victor Spinetti.
Script associate CHARLIE ADAMS Written by MARTIN BOOTH .
JOHN MACHIN. STUART SILVER. ALAN WHITING and MALCOLM WILLIAMSON Produced and directed by MICHAEL LEGGO
starring Bob Monkhouse. More prizes to be won on TV's bingo quiz show.
Game devised by TERRY MARDELL Programme associates
COLIN EDMONDS and JOHN JUNKIN Director BILL MORTON
Produced by GEOFF MILES
Special guest star: Les Dennis.
Featuring Bella Emberg with Tom Bright and Sherrie Hewson.
The final show of the present series visits the world chess championship; a fencing lesson is in full swing. The Hunchback of Notre Dame has one eye too many, and in the most ambitious film of the series, Russ plays five villainous characters who each reach an untimely death in Mildew's Revenge. Produced and directed by JOHN BISHOP
devised and presented by Esther Rantzen.
With Michael Groth.
The return of the series starring unsung heroes and heroines with extraordinary tales of kindness and courage.
In addition, hidden cameras have been around the country to discover whether the British public are Good Samaritans or have hearts of stone.
Director CHRIS FOX
Producer RICHARD WOOLFE
Series producer JANE ELSDON DEW
• AWARD: to nominate somebody to win the Hearts of Gold award, write to: Hearts of Gold, BBCtv, London W12 7RJ.
Last in a series based on the books by James Herriot. The Best Time by Johnny Byrne. Starring and Siegfried is perplexed when the usually caring Mrs Clarke snubs her recent neighbour, an Italian ex-PoW, but the partners have a field day when James diagnoses prostate trouble and gives Tricki Woo a female sex hormone.
Music composed and conducted by JOHNNY PEARSON
Designer JOHN PLUSH Producer BILL SELLARS Director TONY VIRGO
Michael Buerk brings you the latest national and international news with BBC teams at home and abroad. Weather
20 Years of Monty Python written, conceived and performed by Graham Chapman
John Cleese. Terry Gilliam Eric Idle , Terry Jones and Michael Palin.
Animations by Terry Gilliam. Also with Carol Cleveland
Basil Tang , Marjorie Wilde ,
Fred Tomlinson Singers. Original material produced bv IAN MACNAUGHTON and JOHN HOWARD DAVIES Compilation edited by JOHN LLOYD and MARTIN HONE A Tiger Television production for Python (Monty) Pictures
•FEATURE: page 4
featuring the First Round of the FA Cup.
Highlights of two of the day's outstanding matches plus a comprehensive round-up of the afternoon's activities.
Thirty-two non-league clubs join 48 Third and Fourth
Division league clubs in the competition's First Round proper. Introduced by Desmond Lynam.
With comment by Jimmy Hill. Commentators: John Motson and Barry Davies.
Reporters: Tony Gubba and Gerald Sinstadt.
Series producer JOHN SHREWSBURY Editor BRIAN BARWICK
John Morlar 's entire life has been surrounded by tragedy. His psychiatrist, Zonfeld, is convinced that the events are coincidental, but Inspector
Brunei, investigating a brutal attack on Morlar. becomes increasingly convinced that an evil force is at work.
Screenplay by JOHN BRILEY based on the novel by PETER VAN GREENAWAY Directed by JACK GOLD
* FILMS: page 28